A month in instagram #10

Hello again; one of my favourite things to do every month is look through all of the photographs that I've taken and shared throughout the month. April is always a nice month for me as I love chocolate so Easter is always a good time of the year, but this year I spent the first few days of the month in Poland with my boyfriend, which was an automatically amazing start to the month as being on holiday always guarantees a good mood. One sad part to the month was one of my cats dying (she was thirteen) so I found some kitten photos of her to remind me how much time we spent together over the years. April is also my birthday month so if I'm honest I am usually a bit naughty food-wise during April; e.g. I seem to have a lot of treats, oops. I spent a lot of time during April exploring the world, both in Poland and in England and I honestly feel like the world is beautiful now. I want to see so many things, discover and photograph so many different places. I love Spring as a season and I've enjoyed spending a lot more time outside, enjoying views and seeing nature at its best. April for me represents the start of summer, the hope of nice weather and spending time with friends and family as the year starts to suddenly disappear as soon as April comes and goes. I'm excited for summer, I'm looking forward to many more memories being made and always enjoy sharing snippets of my life; blogging definitely pushes me to keep on the positive side of life!

 

 

 

 

How I Found Happiness

 

I learnt to be confident 

Over the past year or so, I realised that I've always envied those people who come across as super confident, content individuals. When I thought back to School, University and even my working life I also realised that I was at my happiest point in my working life. It sounds crazy but I absolutely loved my work; I developed skills and friendships, I got promoted and I was confident and happy within myself. I'm not saying that every day was perfect because no one in this world has a perfect life. However, this was when it occurred to be that I was happy because I was confident. The reason that I was confident was because I learnt to fake it! I wasn't always right, in fact I was often wrong but I was never worried about what others thought of me and that was the key. During the past few months I changed jobs and I kept that lesson with me; even if you're nervous pretend you're not. The only thing holding yourself back is you.

I ditched the diet

I'm the first to admit that I'm not 100% happy with my body shape. I had an eating disorder growing up so I'm very aware of my body image but at the same time I've learnt not to dwell on it. The reason that I'm not a size 4 is because my body isn't supposed to be and that's ok. At one point I was doing my best to eat clean and stifle cravings, but that actually made me feel really rubbish. So I decided that if life is to be lived, I'll eat a cake, I'll have ice cream and I'll definitely chew down a nice greasy burger if I want to! I'm not saying that I eat bad food everyday, but I don't deprive myself of the things that I want anymore. After all, the naughtiest food tastes the best and looks the best on instagram so that's always a bonus too! I like going for catch ups with my best friend and eating good food and drink, which would be impossible if I didn't relax.

Restructured my friendship group

When you've been severely depressed to the point where you reach rock bottom, it sounds so typically cliché but you really do learn who your true friends are. Those who couldn't be bothered to make an effort with me, I stopped begging for effort and attention from. I don't even miss them as I have a much better group of friends right now; I've also rekindled some friendships that I needed to work on from university and school; people who I had really missed having in my life. Now I concentrate on those who were there for me at my worst and they're the ones who deserve to know me now that I'm feeling better. I understand that it's hard when you're not well but at the same time, when you're down you need support from those closest to you.

I engaged in a hobby

I actually started this blog back in 2013 and never really pushed myself to post regularly. However, at the suggestion of my boyfriend I decided to indulge in a hobby to keep my mind busy. So, I decided to get back into blogging and completely overhauled my blog last summer. I changed the the username and the layout and began to actually make an effort to post regularly. As I studied Fine Art at university, blogging is a fantastic way of using my creativity again. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, I started spending my time planning and writing blog posts instead which not only filled up my time but actually gave me something to focus on and see improvements from. The more I started posting, the more readers I got and I saw the benefits of making an effort gave me. Plus, I've enjoyed getting more involved within the blogging community, there are so many amazingly supportive people in this world.

I found love 

My boyfriend has honestly been the most supportive person in my life during the past year. I was thinking that no one old ever love me, that I didn't deserve anyone or anything, but he's changed all of that. He literally encourages me every step of the way to be more positive and life my life without any regrets, through being more confident and seeing friends more often. He's introduced me to a different way of life and I'm ever grateful to him for that. I never thought I'd see different parts of this world and now I've seen things that I had never imagined.

Ultimately, I found myself. From within myself I found my happiness.

 

Happy Things #14

 

1. Today I fly back to London, which feels kind of bittersweet. I've missed London, but I know that when I'm in London I'll really miss Rzeszów. I'll miss not having to work and relaxing in general whilst spending time with my favourite person.

2. I'm working a lot this week, but after having ten days off I'm definitely up to the challenge and will secretly be counting down the days until my next day off, which won't be until next week, sadly. That said, I've made plans to meet up with my best friend soon so I have things to look forward to and help me get through this long week!

3. Last month was a really good month for me blogwise and I'm going to continue working hard at blogging and improving all areas of my blog. I want to improve my content and really push myself to get more active within the blogging community in terms of not only reading and liking other blogs, but also making comments and following more people on various social media networks.

4. After eating far, far too much whilst on holiday the time to change my bad habits is definitely now. If I'm completely honest with myself, I really need to start losing weight getting healthier for myself. As I'm not happy with myself at the moment... It was hard to hear, but Piotr is right and if I'm unhappy then only I can start to change myself. 

5. I want to focus on the good things and not fret over the not so good things. I'm slowly learning that time doesn't stand still and that life isn't limitless, like it feels when you're younger. As you get older, you realise that time is slipping away very quickly. This holiday has given me a lot of perspective on that; there's so many things that I want to do and see, although I'm still young time definitely isn't on anyone's side so I want to focus on happiness.

 

A month in instagram #9

Hello again; I've had a really good month throughout March both online and in life. My blog has had the most views it has ever had this month, which I'm so excited about as it means that my content is actually improving, rather than me simply dreaming about it. In terms of instagram I've finally reached over 500 followers, which is another really exciting thing for me. Spring finally arrived and I noticed such a positive difference in both the weather and my mood, but I admit that was most likely because I was due to go on holiday. I've had a really, really lovely holiday; it's been so relaxing and so nice to simply enjoy the company of my boyfriend and his family. I feel like I've seen much more of Poland than I did the first time that I visited and I've made an effort to take photos and make memories to look back on. I've definitely overeaten this month, but I have no regrets as it's been such a good month. Here's to having another great month in April! 💝

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sobień Castle, Poland

 

After liking Łańcut Castle, I guess Piotr decided that castles were a good place to visit and so en route back to Rzeszów from Lake Solina/Jezioro Solińskie in Bieszczady we drove to Sobień Castle, what can only really be described as a ruin. Just to start, I'm terrified of heights so I'm proud of somehow getting through a steep forestry path and up a ridiculous amount of wooden steps to the ruined castle. Once up the steps, the view was incredible and I wish we had got some more photographs of the lake and natural forestry surrounding the ruins as it was simply breathtaking, but we were concerned about disturbing a group of people sat closer to the ruins, which was a shame. The surrounding mountain range looks particularly impressive when looking around the castle walls. The castle itself is medieval and has royal roots, built to guard the merchant route along the river below in 1340. The weather yesterday was absolutely stunning, which made the ruins look even more interesting as the shining sun brought out some lovely shadows that made parts of the ruins look a little eerie. The castle was destroyed twice, during the 1400 and 1500s, which explains why what would've once been a fantastic display of Polish architecture came to be in such a state of disrepair. It was a definitely a surprise visit, as I knew we visiting Lake Solina but apparently this was a spur of the moment move by Piotr and I did enjoy it a lot but it just didn't compare to the incredible views that I'd seen earlier from by the lake. I feel like if I had seen the ruins first, I would've been more blown away by its beauty.

 

Solina Lake, Poland

So far, during this holiday my boyfriend has honestly taken me to the most beautiful places; growing up Poland was never high on my list of places to visit, I'll admit but having seen places that I'd hadn't even heard of my mind has definitely changed. I want to see so many more things that I'd never thought of before now... He drove us to Lake Solina which is surrounded by the Bieszczady mountain range. Piotr actually visited with his family in the summer of last year and he sent me some postcards of the views then and I do remember thinking I'd love to see it for myself one day. Well, somehow he knows me so well that he took me during this trip. It's not a natural river, it was created during the construction of the Solina Dam in 1968. It's actually the largest artificial lake in Poland and is home to some beautiful mountain scenery. We visited when it was out of season so it was more or less dead, with barely any stalls open, which was a good and a bad thing. It was lovely to have the place empty and ready to explore, but it was a shame to not use a cafe and get the whole experience. The water was a lovely clear blue and seemed to stretch on forever, surrounded my nature.

 

 

 

We've been lucky enough to have some gorgeous weather since we arrived, which for late march is simply amazing. Piotr attempted to show me how to bounce stones across the water but was completely unsuccessful... I'm too clumsy and not gentle enough to manage it, I literally throw a pebble and it goes smash into the water, oops. I loved simply walking around and enjoying the views and his company. It's so easy to feel positive about life when you're surrounded by views like these; it was so peaceful, calm, clean and clear. I've always liked nature, but it's very different to experience nature in places you've never been to before. Solina Lake has well and truly captured my heart, I'm dreaming of the day I can return and rediscover it's beauty alongside Piotr. It's a strange experience seeing everyone look confused as you speak in English, but I like it too as it's so nice to experience different cultures, including languages. I've definitely fallen in love with Poland 💗