May Playlist

Hello again guys; I feel like I’ve really lost the plot with uploading posts to the blog recently for no particular reason. However, in my day to day life, I do still love listening to music for whatever reason; whether it’s a journey to work or the shops, getting ready after a shower or simply to settle down and relax. If you’ve read my blog before, then you’ll definitely know that I’m open minded when it comes to musical genre; I listen to more or less everything as well as languages other than English too (even if I don’t understand) as I just love the way that music can make you feel even if you don’t understand a language. There’s just so much to love about music. At the minute I’m enjoying positive, upbeat songs and in a way that matches my current good mood - over the past few months my mental health has really improved and listening to positive songs really helps to add that extra something into my everyday life. The list of songs below aren’t in any particular order, they’re just the fifteen songs that I’ve listened to the most over the past month. What songs have you been loving this month? Let me know in the comments! :)

1. Howl - Florence & The Machine

2. We Can’t Stop - Miley Cyrus

3. Five Colours In Her Hair - McFly

4. No Tears Left To Cry - Ariana Grande

5. Crying in the Club - Camila Cabello

6. Touch - Little Mix

7. Unstoppable - Sia

8. What About Us - P!nk

9. Pillowtalk - Zayn

10. Échame La Culpa - Luis Fonsi & Demi Lovato

11. Reggaetón Lento (Remix) - CNCO & Little Mix

12. Crashed The Wedding - Busted

13. Come & Get It - Selena Gomez

14. Now - Paramore

15. Shape of You - Ed Sheeran

December Moodboard

Hello again guys; for someone who said that they wouldn’t be religiously taking part in blogmas I’m feeling really inspired at the moment to the point that it’s so easy to find content to post, which is crazy (in a good way) as I wasn’t expecting to be posting so often. Christmas this year is really exciting for me, as I have a bit of time off which means that I’m seriously getting into the festive spirit (which rarely happens to me, haha!) one of the reasons that I’m looking forward to it is that I get to spend some time with family and friends, as well as having a good rest and some excellent food. All of the collages have been put together by me, but all of the images have originally come from Pinterest using the keywords December, Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Festive, Christmas Food and Harry Potter Christmas Decorations. I don’t own any of the images but I love getting inspiration for any season from Pinterest, but the festive season looks absolutely amazing, the amount of beautifully laid out dishes and homeward literally had me drooling. One day, I hope to have a house that looks as beautiful as these interiors! I love putting together a moodboard of what I’m loving each month, it’s such a lovely way to start the month off. Let me know in the comments if you like these kinds of posts! :)

November Playlist

1. Try - P!nk

2. Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus

3. Secret Love Song - Little Mix

4. Helena - My Chemical Romance

5. We Can’t Stop - Miley Cyrus

6. Heart Attack - Demi Lovato

7. Going Under - Evanescence

8. Crying in the Club - Camilla Cabello

9. The Never-Ending Why - Placebo

10. Best Song Ever - One Direction

11. Where Do Broken Hearts Go - One Direction

12. First Time - Ellie Goulding & Kygo 

13. Black Magic - Little Mix

14. Shake It Off - Taylor Swift

15. River of Tears - Alessia Cara

Hello again guys; being the nosy person that I am, I love reading these kinds of posts. It’s a simple way of getting to know a person in terms of something other than what they look like, or what possessions they have. Music is, and has always been a big part of my life. When I was younger I used to play a few different instruments and my mama always used to listen to music whilst tidying the house so I’ve always enjoyed listening to music. As I’ve got older, my musical tastes have definitely become more open; I listen to a variety of genres and artists and try not to limit myself; if I like it, I like it and don’t stress about whether it’s cool or not. I think you can tell a lot about a person by the music that they listen to, but I don’t know what my music taste says about me, haha. This month I’ve been enjoying listening to so many different artists and songs that it was hard to narrow this list down to only 15, but somehow I managed it. My favourite time to listen to music is either when I’m walking, or taking public transport. It’s so relaxing and really transports me to another world, one where I’m able to think clearly and easily. Let me know in the comments what music you’ve been loving this month :)

Book Review: Never Let Me Go

Kazuo Ishiguro is one of those contemporary authors who never ceases to write; it feels like his books are everywhere and that everyone has heard of him. Never Let Me Go is a novel that I have been meaning to read for a long time; many years ago I watched the film but I’ve never managed to find the time to read the book until now. To say that this novel is beautifully written is an understatement; Kathy is a great narrator, appearing to be both reliable and engaging with a fantastic memory for any amount of small details. However, as the novel progresses the reader does begin to question whether Kathy is too easy to accept their fate; too quick to provide excuses and too happy to concentrate on the positive parts of their lives. Kathy rarely discusses her own feelings, often preferring to remember the past and describing how others felt. This book opens up many questions about both morality and mortality and not all of them are pleasant; in fact this novel is hard to read at times as it does hint at some uncomfortable subjects. In ethical terms, you could argue that there are many issues present; raising children to be very intelligent and then suddenly give up their lives, to have no opportunities to have a real future creates a range of questions and I’m not sure that I agree with the notion at all.

Kathy is a ‘carer’ and so we as readers see the worlds from her perspective, including her memories. Many of her memories contain some fond thoughts about her childhood, in particular her friends, acquaintances and guardians (who are fairly similar to teachers and parents in one) at her School, Hailsham which can be compared to a Boarding School except they don’t have holidays or ever leave, in fact. In all honesty, the majority of the memories that Kathy shares are not the happiest, although she seems to treasure them, probably because they are all she has and many of her childhood friends have ‘completed’ which is alternative way of describing death. Kathy explains (via her various recollective memories) that much of their teaching throughout their schooling is based around them being donors. Effectively, all of them are cloned, intended to donate organs for those who need transplants for various illnesses. Donation is something that is often mentioned and often in a way that suggests all of them are afraid of the future as it is so unknown to them. Many of them struggle past the second donation, however Kathy does explain that it does depend on the individual. Tommy seems quite proud of reaching a fourth donation, almost as though it is an honour. I got the impression that Kathy was afraid to be a donor herself, much preferring to be a carer. Being a carer definitely suits her personality, she’s naturally a sensitive soul.

Carers are trained to look after those who are recovering after making donations, which is Kathy’s role; considering that the majority of her childhood friends and acquaintances are guardians (who are fairly similar to teachers and parents in one) at her School, Hailsham which can be compared to a Boarding School except they don’t have holidays or ever leave, in fact. In all honesty, the majority of the memories that Kathy shares are not the happiest, although she seems to treasure them, probably because they are all she has and many of her childhood friends have ‘completed’ which is alternative way of describing death. Kathy explains (via her various recollective memories) that much of their teaching throughout their schooling is based around them being donors. Effectively, all of them are cloned, intended to donate organs for those who need transplants for various illnesses.

Carers are trained to look after those who are recovering after making donations, which is Kathy’s role; considering that the majority of her childhood friends and acquaintances are donors from what she describes. In fact, she even considers herself an excellent carer, having cared for many years. This novel is a sad one; I found it hard to read. It is almost impossible to understand how difficult it must have been for these children to reach adulthood and realise not only what they are, but that they have been lied to. I cant even fathom how it must be to realise that you are so different to the outside world; the characters in this novel are not only complex, but also incredibly really to deal with their difficult lives, they’re so brave in many ways. Many people go through life believing that they are alive for a purpose, although that purpose is usually dependant on choice whereas the characters in this novel are alive for a singular, unavoidable purpose with no choices at all.

Overall, I really loved this book; as much as it was difficult to read due to some of the morality and mortality questions that bothered me, the writing is undeniably beautiful. In general I do love a book that makes me think, that encourages me to question the truth of what I’m reading as well as think more about social issues. One of reasons why I adored this book so much is that the underlying morality issues were carefully described; the subtlety of the prose made the meaning behind the words  even more haunting to me. In terms of length, this book isn’t unreasonably short, but it isn’t long either so in a sense it is an easy read, although one that is very hard going in terms of subject matter. Ishiguro’s characterisation and the narrative voice of Kathy were excellent, particularly as there was a sense of mystery, until the big reveal which turned out not to matter anymore. Naturally many ethical questions arose after reading this novel, but ultimately I do recommend it as I couldn’t stop thinking about it during reading and still after reading it, which is always the sign of a fantastic read.

October Moodboard

Hello again guys; once again I’m starting the month off with a moodbaord based on a variety of images that I found on Pinterest (no hate please, I know it’s bad there’s just so much inspiration to be found from there) using the search keywords Halloween, Autumn, Autumn fashion, Halloween DIY and October. I don’t own any of these images but they can all be found on Pinterest using the same search keywords. I really, really love the autumn and fall colours, the orange, reds and yellows are simply beautiful and honestly I can’t wait for the leaves to start falling properly, even if I’m not a fan of the darker nights and shorter days. Another thing that I’ve been getting excited over is decorating interiors for the upcoming seasons as the one thing that is super enjoyable about the autumn and winter seasons is having cute decorations all over the house and I like seeing the house looking a little more cozy and warm in the colder months. I’m definitely tempted to buy some more big cozy jumpers as it is starting to get more cold in the mornings and evenings now, so maybe I’ll take some inspiration from the colour schemes that can be found in some of these images. Is there anything that is getting you excited about October? Let me know in the comments :)

Book Review: Everything Everything

 This book is arguably one of the most hyped up Young Adult fiction pieces for a long time; in fact many people were even dubbing it as the next The Fault In Our Stars. I won't deny the comparison, but I don't think that either of these books fit into a mold. I must admit that my main reason for reading this novel was curiousity; however I did actually find myself surprised by enjoying it. The writing style of short, sharp chapters was a great way to keep the interest level up and I found it very easy to read. It was an interesting touch that the main character Maddy is fairly unusual in the sense that she's mixed Japanese and African American alongside her life threatening disease known as SCID. The one thing that is truly lovely about Maddy is that she appreciates all of the little things in life, whether that is the books that she reads, the films that she watches or the time she spends with her mother and her nurse, all of which are fairly often. As a reader, you begin to feel sorry for her as you realise that her life must be extremely repetitive as well as limiting.

It's hardly surprising that Maddy spends the majority of her life dreaming about the outside world, even Carla, her nurse admits that she is amazed that Maddy isn't depressed, or doesn't struggle with her extreme life of isolation. Fairly early on in the novel we witness through Maddy, the arrival of her new neighbours and the boy, Olly quickly captures her attentions. They have a cute friendship, communicating through their bedroom windows. It actually due to the appearance of Olly and his family that we see a radical change in Maddy. As their relationship develops it slowly becomes apparent that there is something wrong with Maddy's diagnosis, which I had thought about fairly early on as she never seemed to particularly sick, but as Carla allows Olly to visit and they become quite intimate with one another in terms of kissing and Maddy is surprisingly fine. Nicola Yoon has created a very interesting and also addictive read; once you get into the story you can't wait to finish it. I actually finished it in one sitting as it's a nice easy read with a lot of themes running through it, such as relationships, isolation, adolescence, domestic violence and alcoholism.

As you can probably tell, this novel is told mostly through Maddy and in stereotypical teenager fashion, she’s fairly self centred so much of the information is all about herself or Olly. Eventually she runs away to Hawaii with Olly and they do many of things that her mother would hate, including having sex. Maddy becomes ill and when she receives treatment she begins doubting her whole life. Her mother is a doctor and it was her mother that diagnosed her illness; which is never a good thing. As a reader, it’s hardly unsurprising that Maddy is not ill as originally thought, her mother wanted to keep her to herself after her father and brother died in a freak accident and Maddy doesn’t have the happiest of reactions when she discovers the truth. Much of the critical points surrounding this novel have been the unbelievability of her condition, although it can also be argued that this is the reason for the majority of the plot; at the end of the day, Maddy’s life is a lie and has been for as long as she can remember, which also explains why she’s so emotionally underdeveloped and therefore immature in so many ways other than in academic intelligence due to her lack of socialising with anyone outside of the bubble that is her house.

Overall, this novel is both enjoyable and addictive; it’s an easy read although it does contain some sensitive content, for example when Maddy describes the domestic violence that is tearing apart Olly’s family, how it affects their family in multiple ways. His sister is a chain smoker, Olly is constantly angry and his mother lives in fear of her alcoholic and abusive husband. I would argue that Maddy’s mother is also abusive as what she does to Maddy is wrong, regardless of how much she uses the excuse that it was for Maddy’s own good. I liked the relationship that developed between Olly and Maddy, but at the same I wish that Maddy admitted that she made a lot of her decisions throughout the novel due to her strong feelings for Olly. Realistically, if he had never moved in next door and pursued her, it was unlikely that she would ever leave her careful bubble that was her life. The main issue that I had with her decisions, wasn’t her want for freedom as that is a basic right after being kept inside under false pretences for years; it was the fact that she only dreamt of the outside world to feel love and that wasn’t necessarily the right thing, I would have loved to see Maddy embrace herself as an individual more, not only a part of a couple. However, I loved the writing style of this book and I felt that the characters were really well orchestrated throughout and the ending wasn’t a disappointment; in fact, I loved the ending as it didn’t tie up any loose ends, it left them open and I love it when a book does that. This novel is a definite recommend as it was simply a lovely piece of writing.

September Playlist!

1. What About Us - P!nk

2. Hard Times - Paramore

3. Learn To Love Again - Lawson

4. Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato

5. Battle For The Sun - Placebo

6. Power - Little Mix feat. Stormzy

7. Came Here For Love - Sigala & Ella Eyre

8. Unpredictable - Olly Murs and Louisa Johnson

9. City of Angels - 30 Seconds To Mars

10. Rock N Roll - Avril Lavigne

11. Skyscaper - Demi Lovato

12. Don't Look Down - Martin Garrix (feat. Usher)

13. Crying in the Club - Camila Cabello

14. Here's To Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne

15. It Ain't Me - Kygo & Selena Gomez

I love to listen to many different types of music and I'm sure that's fairly obvious by the range of artists and genres from my list typed above. When I was younger I limited myself to certain artists and genres and although I don't regret that, nowadays I really like having variety on my iPod as I listen to music that suits my mood a lot of the time. I don't have a long journey to and from work, but I enjoy listening to music on my journey as it cancels out any other noise and gets me in the zone in time for work. I have a busy job so it's important to have a way of chilling out before and after the working hours of the day. I have an iPhone, but I prefer to save my battery and use an iPod as it's just so easy to use and they've really lasted the test of time for me. I'm also less likely to brake my iPhone by using an iPod, haha. What music have you guys been loving recently? Let me know in the comments :)

Book Review: The Couple Next Door

Over the past couple of months I seem to be drawn to thrillers, which is why I picked up this novel by Shari Lapena. The plot has a lot of promise; an rich couple living in an affluent area leaving their six month old baby in the house alone whilst they attend a dinner party at another couples house. Straightaway, the warning signs are obviously there, but apparently all should be fine as it is only next door and the parents are regularly checking up on their daughter. Add in a cocktail of various alcohol and it is definitely a case of who to believe. Early on in the novel it becomes not only a case of neglect, but also of child abduction; however it begs to question who is truly at fault? Is it the mother suffering from post natal depression, the father who has a business rapidly going under or is it the friends Cynthia and Graham who refused to have a baby come to their house? Anne, the mother blames Marco, the father for persuading her to leave Cora behind with the pretext of regular checkups.

However, nothing is ever as it seems and soon the circle expands to Anne's wealthy parents; strangely, the reader never sees or hears from Marco's family. On the one hand, you feel exceedingly sorry for Anne and Marco as they're living through a parents worst nightmare, but at the same time something doesn't quite add up in places, although they called the Police soon after they realised that Cora was missing from her nursery, everyone is a potential suspect. The Detective leading the investigation is an incredibly astute man and trusts nobody, which isn't a bad thing. The novel is centered around the attempt to find Cora safely alive, although we all know that the likelihood of murder increases after several hours of disappearance.

On the surface all of the characters are respectable, hard working people but this novel really does make you question how well you really know anyone. The literary style is simple, but effective with short, sharp chapters that flit between multiple narrators and it as interesting to look at the investigation from the Detective's perspective in particular. The kidnapper is revealed fairly early on, but the twists seem to never stop; every character seems to be guilty of something but it's a matter of working out what it is that they're guilty of doing. It's not hard to realise that someone is lying, but the question is who is lying? This novel is full of lies, deceit, blackmail, secrets and untrustworthy people. It was hard to know who to place the blame on and impossible to work out who was behind the kidnapping as each character seemed know far more than they wanted to admit.

Overall, this novel is one of the most beautifully crafted pieces that I've read in a while; each character had a fatal flaw that made them difficult to like and impossible to trust. I think I literally pinned the blame onto each one of them at different points as not only were they unlikable, they also seemed to have an undeniable connection with Cora's disappearance. The only character free from dislike was the Detective and honestly, he seemed to share a similar set of ideas to mine throughout the novel, albeit he was a few steps ahead of me. Although the instincts are to blame the parents, no one ever works alone and it this novel is the perfect 'whodunnit' without being obvious in any way. There were so many hints throughout the novel to do with the framework of the crime, but at no point did I guess any of the finale correctly. That is what makes a good book exceptional.

Book Review: Baby Doll

The cover of this book definitely drew me in; 'escape is just the beginning' is the perfect short, sharp description of this absolute page turner. A fantastically written debut novel from Overton, it starts with Lily realising that after eight long years her captor has forgotten to set the lock and so we see her start to flee, alongside her daughter. The notion of Happily Ever After was never going to be a reality and so even after running to freedom, in fact to her childhood home, the story doesn't end there. The use multiple narrators was an excellent way of communicating through extensive characterisation; as a reader you get to hear the perspectives of Lily, the victim of both kidnap and imprisonment; her twin sister Abby, their mother Eve and also the abductor. It was a simple but effective way of enabling the reader to really understand the motives behind each decision made by each character.

One of the main reasons why this book was such an interesting read is that it gave an insight into what happens after escape, rather than simply finishing with the escape. Essentially where most books would end, this one began. From the offset this book was gripping; as soon as Lily returned to her family she shocked them with details of who took her and what had happened to her. It's hardly unsurprising that both her and her daughter Sky needed therapy. Overton doesn't explicitly describe the evil that Lily lives through, but a lot of it is implied which actually made it feel more real, like it was something unthinkable. The hardest part of this story to digest was how much Lily's kidnapping had affected those closest to her; her father dying, her mother attempting to find love through her grief, Abby's depression and her boyfriend Wes trying hard to keep going.

As a reader it is clear very quickly that Lily suffered some form of sexual, physical and verbal abuse at the hands of a predator. I wasn't shocked when the predator turned out to be someone that she knew well and trusted, after all statistics suggest that often those who are abused or attacked often know the perpetrator. Lily is an insanely strong individual and I think at times I overlooked how strong she really is; her sister, Abby is the polar opposite of Lily. Where Lily constantly manages (even if only on the surface) to cope, Abby is unable to; this is likely because one has lived through hope where the other had lost all hope. After eight years, Wes and Abby are having a child together, having loved each other in the midst of their loss and that is what truly hurts Lily; seeing how people had to move on after thinking that she was dead for so long. The relationships between the characters are beautifully written, particularly the relationship between Lily and Abby.

This novel literally gripped me from the first few pages; although it was horrific and extremely sinister in places, it was one of those books that was hard to put down. The abductor was a shock from the off, the pinnacle of the community, the man who worked so hard in the searches to find Lily was the person who took her from her family. However, the shocks didn't stop at that point and I liked how the linguistic style reiterated that Lily was not the only victim in this story; the ending was a complete twist that I never saw coming, but it was incredibly satisfying. Sometimes only revenge can achieve inner peace in those that suffer, even if it takes some form of sacrifice on their part. I found this novel to be fantastically well written with a great depiction of characterisation and the relationship between families even in times of hardship. I would recommend reading this book even if you're not a huge fan of thrillers as although it touches on some difficult topics everything is handled very sensitively; focussing on the thoughts and emotions of the characters rather than the atrocities that ripped their lives apart. It's one of those novels that really sticks in your mind, even when you finish it. 

September Moodboard

Hello again guys; I don't know about you, but I feel like August disappeared so quickly... I was not ready for September to be here already, but if I'm honest, autumn has always been my favourite season as I'm not a fan of the humidity so the chillier weather is a plus as my favoured fashions are those with huge cozy jumpers and ankle boots. I'm definitely a boots, jeans and jumper kind of girl and so September is the start of my favourite couple of months of the year, plus I do love firework displays and they're not far away now. Like I post every month, I don't own any of the photographs in the grids below; I do choose the images and places them into collages but they're not my images. I simply go onto Pinterest and type in keywords; this month I used the words Autumn, September, ear piercings, Cath Kidston, autumn fashion and some of the images are by my favourite blogger Rebecca who honestly creates the most lustworthy autumnal images. I'm really looking forward to having hot drinks and wearing big fluffy scarves to stay cozy. I love getting into a warm bed at the end of a cold day and simply enjoying watching the world go by. Is anyone else super excited for the months to come? Let me know in the comments :)

Book Review: Small Great Things

I'm not one for only reading 'Bestsellers' but at the moment it does seem like that's all I'm reading; Jodi Picoult is a very established author and so I decided to read this book due to the interesting summary on the back cover. The summary doesn't come anywhere close to revealing the intensity of the plot, which is a good thing as this book is an absolute page-turner. This was a novel of multiple narratives, but ultimately it was centred around a widowed nurse named Ruth. During her duties she was racially abused and then accused of murder and her employers (who she previously had regarded as friends) more or less refuse to defend her, even if she is a highly skilled and trained labour and delivery nurse with over twenty years of experience. The other two narrators are Turk, the racist/white supremacist father of the dead child and Kennedy, a public defender who is determined to do her best for Ruth.

In all honesty, this novel is not one for the faint of heart. I usually read fairly quickly, but this is a book that you have to almost force yourself to read because the content is incredibly distressing. The plot definitely focuses on the idea that everyday racism exists, whether it is obvious or not. For all of the questions that were answered, another set of questions seemed to appear; it becomes a truly compelling read extremely quickly. There are so many themes touched upon in this novel, including race, discrimination, prejudice and injustice to name only a few; Picoult has a lovely writing style, both brutally honest and full of spectacular descriptive prose. Having multiple narrators is an excellent ways to understand every perspective, even if you don't personally agree with every narrator. On the surface, Ruth is undoubtedly the victim; after years of service and an excellent understanding of her job role, as well as her own skills. All of us have to defend ourselves from time to time, but in this context it was clearly due to the colour of her skin. The main issue I had was the behaviour of her colleagues toward her; the situation that they left her in really wasn't acceptable, especially as they had previously been friends.

The narrator who seemed to really help me understand the seriousness of the accusations against Ruth was Kennedy; perhaps because Kennedy is a white female (as am I) therefore a lot of questions that I had myself were asked and answered through her narrative. For example, when she describes her irritation at how Ruth is treated by friends and colleagues alongside the general public I understood exactly how she felt, because I felt the same way. Kennedy was determined to do what she could and deliberately took a step back from representing Ruth simply because of her race; instead she represented Ruth as a human being, a woman with thoughts, feelings and ultimately a highly educated, trained and competent nurse. Perhaps unsurprisingly, my least favourite parts of the narrative were the elements of the story told from Turk's point of view; clearly designed to shock. There were many reasons for why I found his perspective both offensive and horrifying, all of which because of the certainty of his foul belief system. I'd be lying if I didn't feel some sympathy toward him; his child died and he obviously doesn't know any better, but his parts were definitely the most difficult to read.

Overall, this novel was incredibly compelling whilst being extremely difficult to absorb. I have to admit that whilst I was completely satisfied with the portrayal of the trial, the characterisation across all areas of the novel and the range of backgrounds across the characters. However I was completely dissatisfied with the epilogue. It seemed far too contrived and definitely too good to be true, but the novel as a whole was too good to be entirely let down by a few pages. What I enjoyed about this book is Picoult's ability to make you think; however much of a difficult and uncomfortable topic racial discrimination is, it was handled well and also encouraged the reader to think outside of the box. I felt the need to constantly question any situation, for example although none of the characters were solely responsible for the turn of events, ultimately they all played their parts in the (eventually life changing) end result. I would definitely recommend reading this book as its a complete eye opener in many ways; I wouldn't say that I enjoyed it, but it is definitely one to remember and learn from.

Book Review: The Shock Of The Fall

This novel is about a young man named Matthew and as the story progresses, so does he and his mental illness. Nathan Filer managed to create the most intriguing, gut wrenching and brutally honest novel about mental health issues from the perfect perspective; the sufferer. His background is within mental health nursing, so it makes sense that this novel captures the true essence of life and its struggles for any person suffering from any kind of illness. Matthew begins by talking extensively about his family; his mother, father and his older brother. From the get go it is apparent that Simon has Down's Syndrome and that Matthew is retelling a true story. The first chapter begins by mentioning, quite simply, that 'in a couple of pages he'll be dead'. From fairly early on, it is clear that Matt blames himself massively for his older brothers death.

The narrative style being from Matthew's perspective was what truly made this novel so worth the read; using his own therapeutic way of typing out his past (and at times the present) as though it were a story made it feel more real, somehow. Matthew suffers from schizophrenia and so at times, the narration could be argued as being largely unreliable as he regularly interrupts himself, losing his train of thought or suddenly wanders off onto a tangent. However, when you fit his mental illness into the puzzle, it does make sense that his thoughts would become jumbled. As a reader you hear about his childhood, watching his mother struggle with her own demons, life after his brothers death as well as his teenage years, smoking weed and other drugs with his best and only friend, Jacob who he met at Secondary School. It was after helping Jacob care for his disabled mother that Matthew got a job in a care home for some time.

In fact, it seems like Matt is far more capable of taking care of others than he is of himself; he manages to work a lot, hold down a job and flat all whilst living in filth and relying on drug and alcohol binges far too often; his Nanny Noo seems to be his saving grace for the majority of the novel, regularly visiting him and never judging. If weren't for her, he would never have received any help. For a lot of the novel you get a glimpse into what life is like living in a hospital. Matt often feels trapped inside his mind, physically and mentally. However he seems to find it easy to express these feelings through words on a page; he talked a lot about his favourite gift, his old typewriter from Nanny Noo and how he has always been creative, excelling at writing and the arts like drawing and painting. Throughout the novel, he talks extensively about his brother and how Simon is always in the room and he often hears his voice; however old Matt is, he always seems to imagine Simon at 12 years old, the age he was at the time of his death.

Overall, I absolutely adored this novel; Filer has compiled an excellent debut with a fantastic understanding of mental illness as well as the feelings of grief and loss. This story, although ultimately about Matthew, was also about how grief tears apart families, how many struggle to cope with the pain of losing a loved one. There was a lot of pain to be felt throughout the pages of this book; however the constant reminders of pain are described both accurately and realistically. Matthew's story never (at any point) glamourises mental illness or psychiatric hospitals, instead a believable yet shocking and deeply saddening story comes through. As much as Matt is both intelligent and caring, his health does affect not only him but his family and it is hard to read how individually they somehow struggle through their ordeal. My favourite character was one we only gained a glimpse from; Annabelle was a terrific insight into grief and how to handle it. This book was a excellent read, despite its tough content and I couldn't stop reading once I'd started, the writing is brilliantly handled; definitely worth the read.

August Playlist!

Hello again guys; I've mentioned before how much I love listening to music when travelling, whether that's on the bus, the train or walking. I'm one of those strange people that still walks around with an old iPod, rather than using my iPhone. I don't know why, I just prefer to have the space that the music would take up on my phone on another device and I always loved iPods growing up. I've used one since I was thirteen years old and that's looking unlikely to change. I'm thinking that I should probably keep an iPod because I will eventually make time to go to a gym or a dance class and so music will make any form of excerise seem much less stressful; music can definitely change a mood. On my iPod I have so many playlists made up for different occasions; a positivity playlist, a cheesy playlist, a journeys playlist and many more. This month I've been loving a range of genres (like always) but I've refound my love of the band Placebo.

1. No More Sad Songs - Little Mix

2. Meds - Placebo

3. Speakerphone - Rixton

4. Black Magic - Little Mix

5. Skyscraper - Demi Lovato

6. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira (feat. Wyclef Jean)

7. Hard Times - Paramore

8. Infra-Red - Placebo

9. Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato

10. Still Into You - Paramore

11. Learn To Love Again - Lawson

12. Elastic Heart - Sia

13. Wild Things - Alessia Cara

14. Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes

15. The Never-Ending Why - Placebo

Book Review: The Essex Serpent

I'm the worlds worst for choosing books based on a beautiful cover and this one is definitely no exception to that rule. Sarah Perry has crafted an intriguing novel, set in Victorian London and coastal Essex. Upon starting the novel I wasn't really sure what to expect; starting with the background of a widow who arrives in Essex with her sensitive and slightly eccentric child Francis and his Nanny Martha. As a reader you assume that Cora's reasons for moving to Essex are to grieve her husband, however fairly early on in the novel it becomes clear that this is not the case at all. From a modern day perspective, it was obvious that her husband was undeniably rich, judging by the way the family can just relocate without having to find any work but it was also made clear that her husband was abusive but mentally and physically. Cora is an unusual character, she goes against the grain of the average Victorian female as she refuses to conform to the idealisations of her gender, wearing no make up and regularly dressing in men's clothing.

Cora's natural instinct for curiosity is aroused through a London acquaintance making her aware of some bizarre happenings further into Essex, correlating with the title of the novel. The Essex Serpent comes across as a bit of a joke, a superstition of the villagers and something that seemingly drives the vicar into massive bouts of anger, which he eventually does take out on a statue. Cora definitely becomes free after her husband dies, I suppose in terms of Victorian England she's very different to other women, which presumably is why so many of the males in the book find themselves enamoured with her. One of the men who were desperate for her affections was a Doctor, the one who cared for her sick husband before his death. He is described as very intelligent, but facially ugly and unfortunately doesn't hold much to Cora other than companionship. He's incredibly jealous of the life she makes for herself in Essex. Much of the content of the book is voiced through hearsay and the characters thinking and believing things that from a modern day perspective, clearly couldn't be true, or at least are an exaggeration. 

Another aspect of the plot that worked really well was that of Martha and Charles; essentially the rich benefactor that bought his way into caring for the poor families across the streets of London. Charles quite clearly has feelings for Martha and ultimately although she is aware of this and doesn't reciprocate, she enjoys his company purely for the 'greater good', which she believes would eventually help bridge the huge gap between the rich and the poor that was the everyday strife of growing up in Victorian London. There are many themes set about in this novel, including science, superstition, mental illness, sexuality, sexual desire and unrequited love. None of the characters have many redeeming features to them and rarely have a happy ending; the affair between Cora and the Vicar whilst his mentally ill wife is aware is fairly scandalous, regardless of the era, but it was an excellent plot twist.

Overall, this novel was very hard going; in linguistic style it reminded me a lot of Dickens, although I would also argue that it was not only structured better, but delivered better. Although there were many characters spread out amongst the pages, as a reader you were introduced to each one and they were laid out in depth which made them feel far more real than simply letters on a page. Perry writes beautifully, that was clear very early on in the novel and the many themes running through the chapters seamlessly through the extensive characterisation and interweaving love triangles. When I started this book, I really wasn't impressed; it was difficult and definitely the kind of novel that you have to give a lot of time and energy to it before it begins to shape. However, once I read roughly 200 or so pages, I found myself more into it than I had previously realised. I would recommend this novel, but only if you're willing put the time and effort into appreciating it, it's not one for everyone.

Favourite YouTubers #5

Hello again; I love watching YouTube videos before I go to sleep when I'm tucked up in bed. I really admire the confidence it must take to literally put yourself out there, as YouTube seems to really attract hate of all kinds. I picked the YouTubers below based on how much I've been watching them recently, I'm not fussed by subscriber amounts as that doesn't necessarily result in good content. I would never be a YouTubers myself, but I love the tips and tricks that I've picked up since watching YouTube more. For me, I love the make up tutorials available as they help me learn how to apply make up but also is a good way to find new bits and pieces that I like, especially if a YouTube has ghostly skin like I do. I would love to follow some lesser known YouTubers, so feel free to recommend some in the comments!

 

Just Jodes

I started watching Jodie fairly recently and I warmed to her really quickly; she comes across as super down to earth and genuine. One of the reasons why I subscribed to her was that she regularly thanks her followers and always seems so inclusive in her videos, almost like a friend. Her make up tutorials are fairly easy to follow and she uses a range of make up that suits different budgets which is also nice because as a viewer you can choose which brands you can afford and then watch those specific videos. Her videos are super chatty and chilled out, plus her collaborations with other YouTubers are always interesting to watch as she often introduces you to smaller YouTubers, encouraging them to be more active in the online community. I like her favourites videos as they often feature products from all budgets and they don't feel like a brag.

 

Ebony Day

I found her channel not long ago, but I liked the mix of music and lifestyle videos available. Her voice is simply stunning, but I like her music videos because they're mostly acoustics, filmed in her house; I feel like that shows her raw talent, especially as she plays the instruments herself. I've found her voice to be both powerful and soft, it's almost ethereal in its tone. Aside from the music videos, I like her collaborations with other YouTubers and the glimpses into her and her fiancés life; you witness them getting engaged, baking together and just generally spending time together. Ebony also talks about some serious topics, like her health problem and how she deals with it on an everyday basis. Also, she has a really unusual but amazing accent! I really like how she speaks, weird as that sounds, haha.

 

Meg Says

I've been watching Meg for quite a while and follow her on a couple of other platforms too. I like how she often mentions how she gets inspiration from other YouTubers; it makes her seem more relatable, as well as honest. Her favourites videos are always interesting to watch as she has lovely taste and suits a range of budgets in her choices. As she's very pale skinned like me, I really like her testing different make up videos as I can usually guarantee that if something suits her, it will likely suit me too (which is useful as it meant I don't waste too much money). Her make up tutorials are super easy to follow and the make up products used are generally pretty affordable for anyone.

 

Eve Bennett

She's quite a new subscribe for me, and I have to admit that not all of her videos appeal to me, probably because she's doing her A-Levels and so the study guide aren't really relevant for me (although I wish something similar had existed for me when I was younger). One of the reasons I do like her is that she's acad,epically ambitious, which is nice to see in someone as young as her. She posts a lot of haul and make up videos using a range of price points; both high end and drugstore or high street. Eve seems fairly grounded, as she often shows her family in her videos and is quite vocal about how some YouTubers behave at events or in private. Her make up tutorials are quite easy to follow and her recommended app video was great as I'm always looking for more useful apps.

 

Jade Billington

I subscribed to Jade after watching her in some collaboration videos with some of the other YouTubers that I subscribe to. She doesn't have millions of subs, but her videos are great quality; there are some high street hauls from places like Primark, Topshop and Boots as well as some classics like 'what's in my bag?'; I like how she's honest about her anxiety, talking about how finding a wedding dress was a nightmare experience. It's good to see comparisons of high end make up to drugstore and whether or not they are worth the money. Jade comes across as really sweet and uploads fairly regularly too, which is fab.

 

Book Review: A Year of Marvellous Ways

I decided to read this book because I absolutely loved Winman's first book, When God Was A Rabbit. Her second novel is just as surprising as her first; her linguistic style is incredibly unusual and therefore rather unconventional. Throughout the book Winman refrains from using quotation marks so that the dialogue between characters is laid out within the overall sentences, which is slightly confusing to start with. However as you continue reading you somehow adapt to its unconventional format and begin to forget about it. Winman's writing style is utterly beautiful; her descriptive phrases read as a wonderful form of poetry. I understand that this isn't for everyone, because as a reader her books can be a struggle to follow at times; they are not books to be sped through, they're effectively leisure books, ones to read for pleasure and thoroughly.

One of the reasons why I was so drawn to this novel is its gorgeous cover art; when reading the book its very easy to appreciate how cover visually represents various written symbols described in many of the chapters throughout the book. In fact I would say that symbolism is what gives this novel its power; this is not a novel for everyone. It's an uncharacteristically artistic novel through and through; from the naming of characters (for example: Marvellous Ways, Paper Jack, Francis Drake, Peace, etc.), the view of life from all ages, young and old. At the start of this novel I felt the structure was a little too out there, too disjointed for my liking as none of the characters are officially introduced and the story unravels itself to a degree; the chapters are well written, poetically and gently but it took a while to get into the writing style. Whenever the narrative structure shifted, the shift wasn't declared; as a reader you need to be fully aware of which character is leading throughout the novel as it does change often, and often at a rapid pace.

This is a rare novel in the sense that I doubt I will ever read anything like it again; there is a such a wide range of perspectives, lessons and multi-faceted narratives it was a difficult read. However, I found it a rewarding read as it made you (as a reader) aware of the importance of learning. Miss Marvellous Ways at her age had a lot of life to give as well as a lot of life lessons to teach, Winman delivered her character effortlessly using literal brilliance to do so. The use of multi-narrative was not only clever, but an excellent way of interpreting the variety and vibrancy of  characters; their differences in age, gender, experience. Miss Ways is very special character in the sense that her age and life experience provides her with a maturity and an innocence at the same time. She understands people in ways that they don't even understand themselves. I would describe her as an eternal giver; giving Drake a place to live, space to heal, her time and company.

What all of the characters have in common are two main sources of pain: loneliness and grief. Drake, found and lost a lover, he struggles to regain himself after the war. Peace, a young lady who is madly skilled but struggling to brake into the world alone. There are other character introduced throughout as more and more stories are effortlessly executed, although be warned that this is a novel that breaks the norm of grammatical standards. There are parts where this does feel like an average historical novel, but it is the way that the prose is delivered that makes this novel simply unforgettable. If you choose to read this, then be sure that you're in for a pleasure, but it is a pleasure that you will have to persevere and enjoy; this is not a book to simple be read, as a reader you will need to be invested in the story, to feel the story to truly understand it. I've fallen completely in love with the authority that Winman's words have, which was unexpected to me, as I found this book to be a difficult one to love at first, but as I reached the end I realised how powerful this novel really is.

 

How I Edit Photos on an iPhone

 

 

 

The above three photographs show the three main stages of how I edit using my iPhone. The first image is the flatlay that I prepare on a cream fluffy rug, (that cost me £8), as having a nice background genuinely makes all the difference to your photography. I've found that having a neutral coloured background really makes the items you're photographing stand out. I studied photography at A Level and at university but I actually take all of my blog and instagram photos using the camera on my iPhone 6S. If you can't afford lots of expensive equipment there are definitely ways around it. On my iPhone I've made a folder (called Essentials) of really useful photography apps (other than instagram) to use for blogging. The first app I use is VSCO which is great for adjusting brightness, contrast and natural filters. My preferred filer is F2 as it really picks up the cream background of the rug and makes the whole photograph look much less dull. Although there was actually nothing wrong with the original photograph, I feel like with the filter it does look much more put together and appealing to an audience.

 

If I need to make a collage of photos; for example when I write posts about what photographs I've posted to instagram in a month I like to try and condense the amount of photographs in a post as I'm aware of how image heavy posts can be to an audience. The app Fotor is so easy to use for beginners upwards as it clearly lays out different layouts for different amounts of photographs. Once you've picked a layout (for example of 9 photos) you literally pick 9 photos and it slots them in for you. From there you can choose curved or straight edges and different border thicknesses, which is another nice feature. I use this app regularly and have a lot of success with it as it's so simple to use.

 

Another holy grail app in my collection for blogging is Repix; I actually found out about it through reading a post by Lauren about different ways to edit photos for instagram and as a result I've found an app that I really love. It does quite a lot of different things, but you need to purchase more access. I have the standard access which suits me fine as the only option I use is the Flares effect. It allows me to draw light flares with my fingers that give off a bokeh style effect, one that's often used by photographers. I'm my own worst critic and thought that my photography was really lacking and desperately needed improvement. Through editing using these apps I feel like my blog photography has come a long way; one of the best parts of blogging is learning as you go along, and learning from reading and admiring other blogs, which is exactly what I did. Yes, I did study photography but I still had (and have) so much to learn, which I'm trying my best to embrace. Hopefully this will help someone out there that's struggling to take the perfect photograph! Much love xx