Happy Things #8

 

1. After having a good weekend off, seeing my best friend, spending time with my boyfriend I'm in a good place to start the week and am actually looking forward to it's unknown challenges.

2. My boyfriend is changing his shifts, so I'm looking forward to seeing him more, spending more time with him and just enjoying his company. Time flies when you're having fun.

3. I'm planning to try out some kind of Pilates during this week to try and Up my fitness game and hopefully lose some weight and clear my mind. I guess I'll find out if I like it or not after some time. 

4. I've been enjoying getting back into reading and so I want to finish the book I've been reading at the moment, especially as I'm not enjoying it much. Maybe the ending will be better? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

5. I've decided to try and make an effort to learn my boyfriends mother tongue; I've never been fantastic at learning languages. I might've taken French to GCSE level but I'm actually better at Spanish, so I can only hope for the best. Fingers crossed if I stick at it, it will be ok...

 

Happy Things #3

 

1. My boyfriend bought me a bouquet of flowers and I have no idea why, but it cheered me up when I realised I hadn't missed any kind of special event; plus they look beautiful. Unexpected treats are always a good thing.

2. I'll be seeing my best friend at the weekend for some kind of catch up and/or late birthday celebration which will definitely involve some kind of eating out and enjoying each other's company.

3. Second week my new job, time to keep up the positive thoughts and try and keep learning as much as I can, as soon as I can. I'm very aware that I'm the new person and I don't enjoy feeling like I need to understand everything more. Time is the teacher and the healer, I can do this. First week was good, second will be better.

4. This weekend I'm off on both days, for the first time in what feels like forever; I'm not used to having so much time to think! This weekend I'm planning to actually get out of the house and I'm looking forward to going a local jewellery market with my mama, fingers crossed I'll find some unexpected items for great prices.

5. I'm thinking about getting a new piercing, I'm enjoying looking at the different choices and am excited to make a decision. Piercings always remind me of rebellious university days and I love it.

 

Farewell, 2016

I'm sorry about the last minute burst of 2016 based posts, what with Christmas and being ill I didn't use my brain enough to plan ahead and sort out all of these posts in advance. If I'm honest I couldn't wait for this year to be over. I feel a little like I'm reaching a cliché, but I wanted a fresh start, some time to revive, renew and re-energise my life. In 2017 I'm starting a new job, a job that will hopefully lead to a lifelong career and one that I hope that my confidence will continue to grow throughout 2017. In all honesty, 2016 was a strange year, it was half bad and half amazing. I met the love of my life, one of the most caring and thoughtful people that I've ever had the pleasure to meet and love. I also learnt a lot about myself and discovered that I have a lot more inner strength than I ever would have believed before. I spent a lot of the time thinking, evaluating and learning how to reshape my future. I've learnt that I'm the architect of my own destruction and also the architect of my own mindset. I learnt that confidence for me is forcing myself to act confident and then suddenly I am confident. Slowly, very slowly my mental health is becoming much better and I plan to keep this up during 2017. 

 

 

My dog, however spoilt and evil... She always manages to cheer me up with her little diva ways and taking her for walks along the riverside, during those walks I realised how much I find some form of solace in looking around and watching the world. I also realised that I actually live in a nice place and I've been taking it for granted for a long time, I want to explore London more and get to know the culture, the sights and enjoy life more to keep up a positive frame of mind. I've also enjoyed been more creative again after finishing university and working far too much to enjoy using the creative side of my brain. I feel as though I didn't achieve as much as I'd like during 2016, so in 2017 I'd really love to achieve more with my life. I want to keep blogging and continue doing more creative things.

 

 

This year I realised how much I hate flying, although it was worth it to go to Poland and get to know more about my boyfriend and where he's from... I also realised that I'm literally hopeless at learning other languages. I think that I have more of an idea about myself and who I am, what I've become and how I've changed. Sometimes good things happen to bad people and vice versa; as hard as it is, you learn to accept that and not let it affect you anymore. I don't know how I'd manage without Piotr and my closest friends, but somehow I saw the years end and the beginning of a new one, a new start. A second chance to be happy.

 

A mini Haul #3

As anyone in this world will tell you, sometimes we all need to have a little treat when you feel down. If I'm completely honest, I have felt a little down recently but that said, far less down than I felt earlier on during this year. Every so often, if I find that I have a spare bit of money I do like to indulge in myself a little. In the past year I've learnt to curb my spending habits and be far more careful about what I spend my money on and where I buy things from as every little saving of money helps to go a long way. 

 

 

I recently purchased Amor Amor In A Flash by Cacharel. The box was really pretty in a metallic pink with a red rose embossed with silver typeography that identifies the scent. I ordered the 30ml version as its fairly difficult to find now as it was released as a limited edition in 2013. I paid £22.60 for it, which is a bit frustrating as I've since found it in the Christmas sales for under £20, but what can I do. The bottle itself was so tiny, I was really surprised actually as I have a 100ml bottle from the same range and the difference in size is almost unbelievable. However I do really love the design and the smell is beautiful so I don't have any regrets. The scent is of sweet mandarin, apricot, red apple, jasmine petals, cinnamon, vanilla, sandalwood and sweet caramel. In words the scent doesn't sound amazing, but in person it smells absolutely lovely! As a little bonus the bottle is a pretty shade of pink with a silver metallic rose alongside silver accents which matches the packaging nicely. 

 

After watching what feels like millions of YouTube make up hauls, I'd definitely been on the hunt for some nice storage for my make up; I wouldn't say that I have the biggest collection in the world but I do own a decent enough amount to justify having some storage space. I eventual found some storage on eBay for under £20; I literally typed in 'acrylic storage boxes' and flicked through to choose the style that I wanted. One complaint would be that the storage is smaller than I expected, but there was measurements in the listing so it's my fault for not bothering to check. I didn't pay much, so presumably if you pay more the storage size is larger. That said, I ordered from a UK seller and it came very quickly, well packaged and was identical to the picture so I'm satisfied. Plus it holds my make up nicely outside of my usual standard make up bag which is great.

 

Another couple of items that I indulged in and didn't necessarily need were from Sass and Belle; I ordered what should be a copper drinking cup and a little trinket dish. The drinking cup I purchased with the intentions of using it to hold make up brushes in as its fairly large and looks visually pleasing with a nice copper sheen and indented pattern. Everyone seems to be loving copper at the moment and for £7.50 there's no complaints really. The trinkets dish is also really cutesy, small and round with a pink robin to one side and little bird feet across the dish, also in pink. For £2.50 it was an absolute steal as I've been looking around the internet for similar items and they were all over £10... A lot more than this one. All in all, I spent £13.50 including postage for the two items and I was really happy with them, this month was definitely a cheer up myself month and I don't regret it in the slightest.

 

Things I've learnt in 2016

 

1. I am a fighter. I've had a really shit year, and a great year in one. I met the most amazing man through a really rough time, to the point that I didn't understand why I was alive, or why I wanted to even be myself. I've never been so low, but somehow I met someone who stuck by me through thick and thin, highs and lows. Without him, I'm not so sure that I could fight this life, but I survived alone long enough to meet him. I don't know where my strength has come from, but I've learnt that the only way is up from here.

2. You make your own happiness. When I was severely down and depressed, with nothing to look forward to, I made myself feel even worse. Avoiding friends, losing touch with friends made me feel even more alone and isolated then I already was. Being unhappy in myself, unhappy in my job made me feel so trapped. Getting back in touch with friends, forcing myself to put make up on and leave the house, finding inner strength and pretending to happy enabled me to find happiness. They say that when you're down, you find your true fiends and they helped me to be happy.

3. You have to love yourself, to love someone else. I met someone so special this year and sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am; however, to truly love him I also have to understand that he loves me. Yes, I don't feel worthy but ultimately he does love me and I love him too; but I have to love and care for myself to be happy and healthy enough to keep this relationship together. It's about two people and both of us have to put in the effort, it can't all be one sided. I've learnt to accept my flaws and live with the fact that no one is perfect, he's definitely helped me to see the positives in myself.

4. Friendships don't always last. I finished university in 2015 and thought I had life long friends; in reality I've got one friend from university, two friends from sixth form and no friends from school. My closest friends are from work and even then, my closest friends are not the same as they were a year ago and that's fine, I guess. People change and we develop new friendships or improve on old friendships. My best friend is genuinely the closest I've felt to anyone in a really long time and I love her to pieces but I'll admit I've definitely lost other friends who turned out not to be as great as they seemed.

5. Strength comes from understanding. This is so, so important. I've relied on so many different people this year and that's actually ok. It can be hard to admit that we need support or help but sometimes a second or third opinion can really encourage you to see from a different perspective. This year I've learnt that it's good to listen to other people, that it's ok to rely on another person to be positive. Positivity and strength comes from within, but are definitely influenced by understanding and to gain understanding you have to learn. I found that to learn I needed advice and support, which I got in bundles from two of the most important people in my life. I'm so greateful that I learnt to share my troubles as I truly believe it saved my life.

6. Remind yourself of the good times. I struggle to remain positive a lot of the time. Recently I invested in a photo frame that hangs above my bed in a fitting heart shape. Inside the heart I keep a variety of photos of my boyfriend and family members on days that I've really enjoyed. It keeps me feeling happy when I'm having a bad day or week, as well as looking nice visually. Every time I feel a bit rubbish I try and think about a time I enjoyed to keep myself on a little happy plane as being negative doesn't help me focus.

 

A month in Instagram - November

Overall, November has been slightly unexpected; it feels as though it has literally disappeared, it's gone so quickly. On a positive note, this means Christmas is coming  and therefore so is all of the fun stuff that comes with holiday time. At the start of the month of November I watched the bonfire night celebrations with my boyfriend who hadn't been before. His comment was that fireworks are always nice but didn't understand why we celebrate omeine who tried to blow up our parliament buildings. Fair point, I suppose... Especially as I couldn't even give him an answer. Clearly didn't pay enough attention in history lessons in school.

 

During this month I've definitely eaten far too much and naturally with that comes far too much weight gain, oops. But to fair, living with someone who has a good appetite is the perfect excuse to eat nice things, like pancakes with golden syrup, cream and fruit. Plus, I've learnt that the only way to love your life is to appreciate every part of it, and that definitely includes good food. I went on the night tube a couple of times, which was a fun experience I suppose. Most people are either drunk, begging or on the way to or from work. It's a bit like getting on a shit night bus, but faster. I bought some uggs which have literally saved my life in this cold weather... My feet suffer the most of my whole body during the winter months and after using my brain for once I finally decided to look after the, with comfy and warm shoes. 

 

The end of the month brought another unexpected journey, Piotr and I went to Poland for a few days. The country is nice, but the flight really wasn't. The positive side to flying is that it wasn't too long a journey but the downside is that it made my anxiety absolutely awful... Like really, really bad. I spent much of the time really confused due to the language barrier, but thankfully I did have a translator with me all the time. It was so cold, to the point that even wearing uggs all the time I struggled to keep warm but it was nice, the view of the city lights from the hills was amazing. I tried to take pictures but wasn't successful, sadly. I've never seen such pretty cakes and sweet things in my life!

 

Life as a Bucket List

 

The other day I had a discussion with my friend and I came to the conclusion that the reason so many people are unhappy with life right now is due to the fact that so many of us, intentionally or not, view life in a 'bucket list' format. A lot of my friends definitely view life as a success only by 'ticking off' goals or fulfilling expectations of either themselves or others. I, myself am also very guilty of this. The struggle is, I suppose, managing somehow to find happiness and not measure it in any way. However, that seems like an unrealistic expectation for anyone, as happiness is always measured somehow; either by yourself or by those surrounding you.

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer

BE REALISTIC

This is definitely key to feeling better about life; having a positive attitude will enable you to to focus. If you stop measuring life by what you've achieved or not and instead concentrate on what is going well in your life, you will automatically be happier. By not having any excessive expectations of yourself you can find a find of contentment without feeling the need to be in constant control. I've become a bit of a perfectionist with age, so this is something that I do have to work at. However it's important to learn how to channel your inner control freak. Sometimes you have to think to yourself that if you're obsessed with having better, it will be impossible to be happy with what you do have.

"Life is like a camera... Focus on what's important. Capture the good times, develop the negatives and if things don't work out, take another shot." - Ziad K. Abdelnour

FOCUS ON YOU

Most recently, I've learnt that putting yourself first doesn't make you selfish. Sometimes you have to think about yourself in order to be happy, or at least feel happier. I'm sure everyone has that friend who never seems to be around when you need them, or when you have a problem. I've learnt that sometimes you need let these people drift out of your life. There's no point in begging people to be around you, especially if you're not feeling positive as it will just drag you down again. If you continuously focus on what makes you happy, and what you want then you're much more likely to get it. Confidence is genuinely the key to providing happiness, as difficult as it is to find. I doubt that anyone in the world is 100% happy with themselves but the sooner that you accept yourself for who you are, the more likely you are to find like-minded people and therefore grow a new, more supportive friendship group.

"Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones." - John Lennon

FIND AN OUTLET

Blogging has become a really useful way of letting out my emotions; I spent a long time thinking that life wasn't worth living and that I had nothing, when actually sometimes you need to make you life the way you want. I've always been creative and so that was an obvious thing to re-ignite within my life. As I enjoyed photography so much during my studies, I knew that was something I wanted to go back to, blogging has become a great way to mix photography with reality and it has become a visual diary for me. In the next few months I'm looking forward to starting to scrapbook alongside this as a way of keeping positive. I'm planning that whenever I'm down, I can look through the good times and remember that it can always get better. I've had a really rough year, most of it ruined thanks to negativity and depression but I feel as though I'm finally back on the right track; at last I'm looking forward to the future and actually feel in control of it.

"An entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside. Similarly, the negativity of the world can't put you down unless you allow it to." - Anonymous

Favourite Instagrammers - October

Yet another month has come and gone and my Instagram addiction is still going strong :) below are some of the lovely accounts that I've been loving recently and I've been njoyed following for various reasons, for example some of them love to travel, or love fashion and I like seeing what other people enjoy or what others are passionate about. All the images were taken using a simple Google search using the usernames detailed blow.

 

themagpiegirl

I adore Vicki's Instagram, it's so stunning photography it's amazing. She's currently pregnant and it's lovely watching her documenting her journey and what she's buying for the baby. She takes the nicest close ups of her homewares and decorations alongside her general lifestyle. Even the most basic photograph of a cake or a clock looks so fresh and interesting and I really do admire her 'country' style kitchen with its soft teal toned interior.

 

racheldarling_

Rachel's Instagram is definitely one to enjoy; I love the vintagey style of all of her photographs which also reflects her own personal style. A mix of landscape, interior and self portraits, her insta page almost transports you back to the 1950s. I love how dedicated she is to herself and her 'look'; her outfit posts are absolutely lovely as her clothes look so so beautiful. I have major wardrobe and figure envy, she defines the idea of the pinup era.

 

sophierosie._

Sophie manages to make a lazy day in bed or a visit to a coffee shop look interesting, somehow. Her page has a definitive style, of mostly crisp whites and high contrast, which I admire as I can never stick to a theme. She documents even the little things, like have a breakfast in bed or editing on her laptop. I love her soft and comfy interior style, with knitwear and cushions everywhere. She's proof that even the ordinary is extraordinary photography wise.

 

lucieloves 

This girl really loves to travel the world, as a result of that her posts are pretty addictive. She finds beauty in the smallest of details, such as tiled flooring, bricks or plants. I like how she takes photographs from interesting and unusual angles and has a clear taste for adventure. She's also very pro positive thinking and thoughts and posts positive life quotes fairly regularly across her feed, which if you do struggle with mental health does give you a push to keep on the right track to happiness.

 

underthehutch

Ffion's feed has a slightly hipster aesthetic about it; full of landscapes, sunsets and close ups of outfits. It's a bit of a random collection of photographs but I like that about it, there's no rigid theme and her selfies show how physically beautiful she is. Her cheekbones are very pleasing :) she often posts photos of of rabbits, cameras and her room which has photographs all over it, showing how much photography is a part of her life.

Simple Pleasures

 

Now that September is over, it's nice to look back and enjoy the moments. Overall I've had a really good few months now, to the point that I'm looking forward to October (and beyond), to enjoying more simple pleasures. During this month I've realised that my favourite moments have been the least interesting. I want to spend more time doing touristy things in my home city; I want to visit more landmarks, galleries and museums and stop taking life for granted. I want to be more active in enjoying the life I live, not simply living it.

I haven't been to the cinema in literally years, so that's another things I'd like to do this month, I have no idea what to see but I'm sure I'll find something when the time comes. I've also realised how much of a foodie I'm becoming, so I'm quite excited to try new foods and eateries throughout this month. I'm definitely seeing a more positive side of myself, which can only be a good thing. Autumn in London is truly lovely, especially Greenwich Park with its crisp leaves and fantastic views that spread across the city. I like having picnics in the park as well, literally sitting back and relaxing with good company and watching the world go by. I want to watch the bonfire night fireworks with my boyfriend, as there's less tourists at this time of year so it's busy overall and therefore more space to explore! Here's hoping for a great month. :)

 

Things to be grateful for

 

As many of you will have likely guessed by now, I spend a lot of my time dwelling on the more negative aspects of my life; today I'm trying to challenge this and spend time thinking about the positive parts, difficult as it might be. I have several things that I should be more grateful for and I definitely take for granted sometimes. My Friends are not appreciated nearly enough at times, and I definitely want to spend more time with them. I don't have the largest group of friends, but the ones that I have are so incredibly supportive of me and I need to return that favour more as friendships are about giving and receiving. I have a tendency to overlook my Family a lot of the time too, when actually I do really enjoy their support and company. They've given me a place to live in since I was born and look after me when I need it, which I've needed a lot the last few months, more than I'd ever admit to them but I've appreciated them more since I've got older.

I have the most amazing boyfriend, who literally is the rock I need. There for me whenever and wherever, I don't know where I would be or what state I would be in without him and his constant support. I don't show my appreciation often enough compared to what he does for me and I'm definitely going to change that. He keeps me levelheaded. As much as I have a love/hate relationship with work, I also find that it helps me have a routine, as well as the more obvious monetary gain. Some days I love it, I love who I work with and feel really happy to be a part of such a good team and they're the parts that I need to remember and focus on.

Mistakes are also something to be thankful for, even if they make you feel like you're absolutely worthless. It's so important to remember that making mistakes actually shapes you as a person, they encourage you to grow in wisdom and confidence and I want to always learn from my mistakes for as long as I can. They're a part of humanity, a part of life. I'm thankful to be alive, to have the chance to enjoy all of life's moments and surprises. Even if it's not all #lifegoals or #relationshipgoals etc., life is life and not something that should be valued by a hashtag or how many likes you receive. Life is precious and not everyone is as lucky as I am and I need to remember that. 

Let's be honest

 

So, with reference to the title of this post, 'let's be honest'; I have a problem with alcohol. Not with others drinking around me, I don't have a problem with it existing and I don't rely on it or feel that it's necessary to drink at parties or socially in general. But I, personally have a problem with it. I have a problem with the way that it makes me feel and the way that it makes me behave. Particularly when I was younger, I definitely felt the pressure to conform to the 'teenage binge drinker' stereotype and I feel that I did just that. I can't handle drink well, if I drank more than 2 of anything I would feel like absolute shit and either 1. not remember much and be excruciatingly irritating and/or hyper active or 2. Be a manic depressive mess, screaming and crying, unable to cope.

As I've got older the second option has become more and more apparent and to be honest it scares me a little; they always say drunken actions are sober thoughts, which then begs the question is my lack of coping when drunk the harsh reality of my current underlying state of mind? At a friends 21st I spent about 3 hours crying to another friend about all kinds of things, work, family, life in general. I don't even remember it, I was told about it after and that what's even more worrying. What should've been a lovely evening with friends became an absolute blur and I suspect ruined much of the night. I don't want to be this uncontrollable trainwreck, I want to be able to enjoy myself and be good company.

More recently, partly decided from a suggestion made by my boyfriend, I'm not going sober but I'm not actively drinking unless its social, and even then I'm drinking no more than one, purely as a precaution. I'm learnt that my mental health is more important than trying to be social, or seemly becoming this expected persona; my severe anxiety definitely increases tenfold when I drink and so my sober, level headed self knows that if I want to feel comfortable and able to manage a social situation then drinking alcohol is not the best idea. If I have anxiety at the best of times, then alcohol is not going to be a solution, I don't find it empowers me or makes me feel more confident, in fact it makes me feel the opposite.

An old school friend shared an article from the Guardian about a week ago and it's contents resonated with me very much; about how "Young Britons living in 'suspended adulthood'", from my own perspective I would say that the findings, such as under 30s, particularly females struggling with self confidence and mental health issues are very real in society. Myself as an example, I definitely fit the profile mentioned in the article. It ties in well with my reasons for being careful around alcohol; right now mental health, the pressures of young adult life are affecting many potential experiences that could be benefitted by social situations. However, I have learnt that I don't need to indulge in copious amounts of alcohol to improve experiences, in fact, alcohol has a negative effect. So, as a twenty something slowly pushing through life, I can say. I am finally learning to control my alcohol intake I'm happy about it.

Tall Ships Festival @ Sail Royal Greenwich

 

Last Sunday my two nephews, mama and I went on along the River Thames on a boat, as part of a 'river cruise', complete with real sailors directing the ship along the course of the river. Starting from Woolwich Arsenal Pier and moving along towards the Royal Greenwich Heritage Centre, it was a really incredible way to see the sights of my hometown. My nephews, aged 12 and 14 were enjoying themselves, eating from canapés and drinking cokes frim glass bottles whilst looking out over the river. It was a rather nostalgic experience in some ways; my puppy Star, who died two years ago loved watching the ships sail along the river during the festival and so it was a reminder of her, in a way. As well as that, as we passed Silvertown docks we talked about my grandfather who worked there and how one of my nephews was named after him as he died when I was young.

In all honesty the river is a fantastic way to see all areas of the city; from Poplar Rowing Club, Silvertown Docks, the Emirates Cable Car and the o2 arena, there are so many different things to see. One thing that I noticed is how the old and new architecture mixes in together, from Stuart Palaces, 1900s factories and docks to millenium aged flats and oddly-shaped houses. It was a really nice experience to see the city from a traditional boat rather than ferry as it was slower and so you had more time to take the views in fully. My nephews seemed to really enjoy themselves, one was a bit hyperactive and desperate to see and do everything all at once, and the other was quite solemn, staring intently at different things and really concentrating. During the tip I also found out that the youngest one is very keen on photography and we definitely bonded over that. These river cruises are only available for a short time and if you can go, you should. Mama and I agreed afterward that we wished we had booked one of the fireworks evening cruises, but with kids the daytime version was probably the safest.

My Travel Bucket List - UK

 

St Ives, Cornwall

I've always wanted to visit St. Ives for a number of reasons, but the main reason being that I love going to galleries and museums and there are many to visit such as  the Tate, Barbara Hepworth Museum and Sculpture Garden and the National Maritime Museum Cornwall. However I love the peaceful feel of the English countryside and Cornwall is a seaside town surrounding by breathtaking views and the local fishing ports. There are so many beaches, coastal paths and harbours to explore, alongside seals and other wildlife. I'm also interested in visiting the local potteries and a boat or ghost tour. There's something incredibly relaxing about spending time in rural landscapes and this is one of the most popular tourist destinations for a reason.

Lyme Regis, Dorset

Having spent many summer holidays here as a child, I would absolutely love to revisit Lyme Regis as an adult. There are literally so many sights to take in, including the Jurassic Coast, Dinosaurland Fossil Museum, the Cobb Harbour and the Town Mill, alongside many beaches. It's the best feeling to wake up to the sounds of the sea slapping against the rocks of the beaches. It's probably the most famous place in the UK for fossil finds due it's extensively beautiful coastline. It's also been written about by many novelists, including Jane Austen and even boasts a Banksy artwork; it has been described as 'The Pearl of Dorset' due to its picturesque sea views that are visible from all areas of the town.

Ventnor, Isle of Wight

Some of the best memories I have from university is spending a summer on the island with a friend and so I've got some really lovely memories that I would like to revisit. Ventnor is a primarily a seaside resort and essentially is built upon cliffs and hills to the side of the sea. Home to a number of beaches, it also boasts of converted Victorians baths, a harbour, a bandstand and Ventnor Park and Botanic Gardens. Ventnor was one of the nicest places I visited due to spending a day at Steephill Cove, a really soothing beach. More or less empty, it was rocky and sandy with privacy to just enjoy the views of the sea.

Portmeirion, North Wales

A tourist village designed to look like an Italian village, it's another place that I went to as a child and would like to revisit. It's got some lovely quirky architecture, alongside ornamental gardens and breathtaking views from the seafront. It's surrounded by cafés, restaurants, spas and quaint little cottages set sgainst cobbled streets. There's a woodland and Edwardian garden ready to explore, as well as a gothic castle, railway and pottery. Overall there are many things to do in this scenic place.

Wiltshire, England

The main reason for my want to visit Wiltshire is to see Stonehenge; however there are many other sights to see in the county including Avebury neolithic stone circle, Stourhead Gardens, Museum of the Great Western Railway, Lacock Abbey, Salisbury Cathedral and Nunney Castle. I've always loved history, art and architecture and there's so much to see in this area. I'm sure its a perfect place to walk and enjoy the landscape.

Edinburgh, Scotland

As the capital, its no surprise that there are so many things to do in Edinburgh, such as visiting the Castle, Holyrood Palace, Arthur's Seat, Scottish National Gallery, Royal Botanic Gardens, St Giles' Cathedral, Museum of Childhood, National War Museum and Edinburgh Zoo. I've always wanted to visit Scotland because of my godson being Scottish and lived there for several years now. I want to see the culture and the architecture of Scotland as well as compare the city life there.

Education; a blessing and a curse.

 

I would say that I received a reasonably good education, even if I went to one of the worst secondary schools in my local area. Let's be completely honest, most inner London schools at any level are not exactly seen as fantastic; many people would argue that unless you pay a significant amount of money you don't get a good education. From the age of 5-8 I went to a Church of England Primary School and hated the majority of my time there, mostly because I was bullied for most of the years spent there. Aged 8-11 I went to a school in the neighbouring borough and statistically it was the best school in the surrounding area. I was probably my happiest at school during this time, for no particular reason. I excelled and genuinely enjoyed learning at this point, possibly because I felt settled and had a good group of friends.

At 11 years old, I went back in the Church of England School system and although the school went from being statistically excellent to inadequate I did enjoy my time there. During this time I definitely found myself and my interest in art... In fact I never really did anything but art whilst I was there but it was actually comforting to be encouraged to do well at something I loved. The school itself was very regimented, even to the point the amount of stripes on your tie were counted as you entered the school gates and naturally I rebelled.

Unfortunately I'm one of those people who doesn't enjoy being told what to do, what to dress or how to behave and obviously at a strict school that doesn't go down well and I struggled to fit in with the expectations given to me through the 5 years I spent in secondary education. It was during my secondary years that I realised that I have more mental health problems than the average person but somehow I managed to pass all subjects, with my highest grade being A and lowest being a D. I had the potential to do better but lacked the necessary self control to do better. Basically, I focussed on subjects that I wanted to do well in and had planned to later study at A-level.

Moving on to sixth form, I would say these years were the worst two years of my life. I enjoyed my studies, actually. I studied English Literature, Art and Photography but ultimately I really struggled to fit in, having not attended the school before, everyone already had friends and no interest in including me in anything. Sounds strange but it ruined my confidence and definitely had a negative affect on my mental health and in all honesty I was just desperate for those two years to be over to move on and go to university. Since the age of around 14 I had been interested in perusing a career in teaching and so going to university was the obvious next step, and I somehow managed to pass my A-Levels with reasonably good grades and gain a place at university.

In all honesty I wasn't exactly overjoyed with the university I went to; it wasn't a university I applied to thinking 'I would love to go here', but out of 5 choices I was accepted into 2 and so I made the decision to choose whichever I preferred of the two. Looking back I actually regret not taking a gap year and re-applying to university, but at the time I was thinking, well next year the fees are increasing and I was determined to graduate with the least amount of debt that I could, to the point that I refused to consider to apply to universities outside of London, or even move out of my family home during university. As I chose to study Art, I had to first complete a foundation year and this was a year that I really enjoyed. I love being about to learn about all kinds of art and exploring what form of art suited me and what I wanted to persue. I passed my foundation with a B and I was actually so happy when I saw I got 100% in a photography module. During this year my mental health was at its most controlled and a that definitely shows through my results and how much I learned during that year.

After that I decided to study BA (Hons) Fine Art and I chose not to change universities because of financial reasons and having such a amazing time during the foundation year that I was genuinely excited for what laid ahead. During my first year at university, I really enjoyed the work and found that drawing and photography were my main interests. It was more difficult than most people would assume, as everyone that I knew outside of art college always had an assumption that art is easy, when actually I always had a literal mountain of work to complete, alongside essays. I passed the year with good grades and was looking forward to starting second year, having enjoyed the first.

Second year was where it all went a bit downhill; I struggled with my mental health again after the realisation that this course wasn't really what I had hoped. After discovering my love for drawing in first year, I then found out that drawing was not an option in second year and I chose to dabble in sculpture... However the kinds of sculptures that I created were not exactly typical sculptures and i had to argue my way a lot, which was a nightmare. I also began having panic attacks and struggled to speak out loud or voice my opinions. I debated dropping out many times, but I suppose what kept me going was not only the fear of 'failure', but also a hope that if I made it to the final year, that it was be better towards the end.

In all honesty, third year was strangely bittersweet. On the one hand, I realised that I absolutely detested the practical work. On the other hand, I realised that my dissertation was the most interesting part of the university experience for me and I'm still proud that I managed not to drop out and finish the whole four years, somehow. Throughout my education I was never top at anything, always slightly more remarkable than average but I never really achieved anything of importance. Now that I've finished education (unless my crazy self does eventually follow through with a masters) I can that my fear of failure still exists, albeit in a different context, but I'm not longer afraid of being average. In fact I've learnt that I have to accept it. It didn't matter how much or little was paid for my education, my grades wouldn't have been better or worse as it is dependant on me and not a financial situation.

Monthly Reflections

 

As the months begin to change from summer into autumn, I start to think that almost another year is gone and I still don't feel like anything much has been achieved. Looking back, this year on paper doesn't look like I've achieved much at all in comparison to last year. This time last year, I got promoted at work and graduated (albeit not with a grade that I was happy with) from university. This year I've achieved... Well, I'm in the same job and literally so poor that it hurts to look at my bank account, but then money isn't the most important thing in life.

I'm actually far more happy now than I thought I ever would be. I really disliked university with a passion, although I don't regret going, I wish I'd changed courses or universities, but what's done is done and I survived, which is actually an important point and one that I need to remember. I'm in a relationship with the most supportive person, who listens and never judges and I'm so grateful for that, because when you have mental health issues it's really important to be able to talk to someone about everything and let out any negative thoughts as well as any positive thoughts.

As I get older, I'm definitely more aware of the importance of having a good group of friends and also the importance of maintaining friendships. I always used to think that the more friends you had made you happier, but now I would rather settle for less friends that mean more to me. It's bizarre how much you learn as you grow. One of the most important things that I've learnt this year is that the journey to happiness is never easy; sometimes you have to feel like utter shit to realise what makes you happy. Keeping up relationships with friends and family is definitely key to having a more positive outlook towards life, and as the month draws nearer to a close I'm beginning to find happiness is more within my reach this month than it was last month. Small steps make a massive difference and I need to keep reminding myself that everyone in this world fights their own personal demons everyday; I am not alone.

Finding Tranquility

 

One the things that I truly love to do is go for a walk along the riverside. Part of me wishes that I lived by the sea, as there is something so calming about hearing the waves crashing along the seafront and feeling sand pressed underneath your feet. However, back to reality; I live within 5 minutes of a river, so it's the closest to the sea I will get whilst living in London!

I enjoy walking my puppy along the river, hearing the water crash and fall against the barriers and watch her tony self love life, running along and investigating anything she sees. I also like to walk alone sometimes as well, stumbling alone and reassessing my life. I always worry that I forget to think about myself, or take the time to simply evaluate what's going on in my life. I guess we all have a tendency to forgot about ourselves and concentrate on other people. I've realised that I'm constantly tired and so I need to make an effort to take some time out for myself, and spend more time with friends. Walking along the river puts me in an incredibly positive mood and makes me have more energy.

The definition of tranquility is the quality or state of being calm, and is synonymous with other word such as peaceful, restful and serenity. Walking around and seeing a mix of natural and man made sights is relaxing and definitely brings me to the tranquil state I crave. Sometimes I find that putting in headphones and listening to gentle music helps me to relax more and feel more at peace with myself, especially if I have a lot of decisions to make as decisions are never easy. Sorry for a slightly random post; I suppose what I was trying to say was always ensure you give some love to yourself in order to find some happiness as the journey to happiness is almost always a complicated one. Until next time :)

June playlist!

 

1. Hair - Little Mix (feat. Sean Paul)

2. Woman Up - Meghan Trainor

3. Unstoppable  - Sia

4. Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) - P!nk

5. Your Storm - Bethan Leadley

6. Up - Olly Murs (feat. Demi Lovato)

7. Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift (feat. Ed Sheeran)

8. Inside Her Head - Bethan Leadley

9. I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift

10. I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself - The White Stripes

After a really hard month, music has become a lifeline for me as its a fantastic distraction. Each of these songs are really poignant for this moment in time and I know that in years to come I'll listen to these songs again and remember how they kept me strong through a really crap time. I'm trying to be more consistent and blog more regularly so I'll be posting again soon.The songs are a random mix of music styles and tastes, I'd love to know what you think :)

Au Revoir 2013!

Hello everyone, I'm sorry I haven't really posted much  over the past month as I've being having a bit of a rough time. However I promise that I am well and truly back! Above are a selection of photographs of my past months/year, which is obviously rather fitting as it's New Year Eve (right now).

Some of the photographs feature my christmas presents; e.g. the 'Build-a-bear' from my godson and the Pandora from my friends and my family and also the current beauty haul that is going on in my life - I've decided to refresh my make-up and look a little, be a little more girlie and fresh faced. To achieve this, I have began to throw away all of the make-up I had lying around that has been used to death, and start again. It's a good excuse to experiment and find which colours, shades and brands work for me and my combination skin.

Another of the photographs is of a wall hanging filled with polaroid photographs from the past year; lunches with friends, journeys around london, my pets etc. Looking at the photographs it is clear that I'm very interested and fond of colours, something that follows through in my creative sense at university; My Art and Design Blog [HERE] and so in January I will be doing a more specific post about my beauty bag and sale hauls, along with some product reviews, so stay tuned!

Back to new year - Happy New Year everyone!

Here's hoping 2014 brings more positivity, as 2013 has been rather a roller coaster at times, unfortunately. I can't believe that my graduation date is growing ever closer, it seemed to be so far away… Therefore it is resolution time - - -

1. Post more on this blog and become more set on my future after University; internships etc.

2. Concentrate on feeling better and caring for my body in a healthier way.

3. Save some money!

4. Learn to be more self confident and less insecure.

5. To mature, to grow and breathe.

Farewell 2013, Hello 2014! Rach x x x

I'd like to start this blogpost by linking to ONE of my favourite blogs, charmsaddict! What I love about it is that that it has a reliable and perfect theme; for my twentieth birthday I received a Pandora charm bracelet, and became addicted straightaway! The charm below was the first ever Pandora charm I ever had or bought; at £30 it was a bargain for sterling silver and it's such a classic, feminine and generally beautiful charm, no regrets whatsoever from me!

Inspired by charmsaddict, I've kept pretty up to date with whatever is going on with charm bracelets. Personally, I prefer Pandora, although that may change as my addiction continues! Right now, I'm intrigued by the 'Pandora Essence Collection'; as it is smaller and lighter, as well as using values rather than ideas of memorable moments. Plus the beads are made using semi-precious stones and so no two beads are identical, which adds a uniqueness - shame that Christmas is coming and so therefore I have no money [sighs].

So far, the beads that I particularly like are Freedom, Love and Positivity - but then again, no money; maybe once Christmas has gone and sales etc. come in [excitement!!!] What I also like about the collection is that the charms stay put without clips like the traditional pandora, which is a plus as it means no extra expenses - I wish they would make a similar set of charms for the original line though, but that would be tooooo tempting.

 

 

As you can probably see - I love jewellery a little too much! However I justify it by that fact that although it costs more as its silver/two tone/gold, it will last a long time and Pandora clean it for free [if you can part with your jewellery for that long, ha]. The other thing is that it all means something, and no two bracelets are identical, its a personal thing. Below are my bracelets [as they were, they're all too big other than the leather, am selling and saving for new, smaller ones as we speak!]

Of the three bracelets, the one I would recommend the most for everyday wear and my preferred favourite is the bangle; as it doesn't look like a traditional charm bracelet and can be worn with or without charms and goes with everything. The leather one is very pretty and comes in a variety of colours, and either single, double or triple. The top bracelet is the original Pandora charm bracelet, and needs two clips to secure the links completely; it is also the heaviest of the three bracelets and the one most likely to last the longest - at the end of the day its all down to preference. If you want to buy one, I recommend Beadazzle; as they offer free first class recorded UK delivery and it arrives amazingly fast - I've never had a problem with them!

Let me know what you thought of this post, it'll help me to improve my writing skills etc. for university amongst other things; I hope you enjoyed reading this rather long post! See ya soon, Rach x x x

Introductions!

Hiya -

I'm Rachel, a 20 year old Fine Art student in London. Its currently freezing and raining outside, but as to be expected for November, haha. The blog name 'artaccessoriesattire' is hopefully a clue as to what I intend to blog about in the future, having always been inspired by so many blogs but never really making one myself. However, on that note, feel free to check out my degree-based tumblr and please give it a follow! [begging over!]

I'm planning to blog about beauty products, clothing, accessories [jewellery, bags etc.] and all sorts of girly things; strange as I'm not usually overly feminine, although I have been told that my style is fairly feminine, as I prefer dresses, but never without tights, due to milk bottle legs! At university I'm specialising in textiles and printmaking and I suppose that shows in my tastes as much as I've never really thought about it in that sense. I'm mad on etching and knitting at the moment, but I do miss photography and drawing a crazy amount, I'm trying to still incorporate those into my current practices.

It's a struggle having a job and university and I'm a stressball near constantly, and I'll probably make all of that worse with these blogs but at least i'll enjoy myself, right?!

Hope you follow!

Rach x x x